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Yes, I know “inauguration” is spelled without an “e,” but I decided to pay tribute to our local unnamed CBS affiliate who decided last night that it needed an “e.”

This morning, on the day after the Inauguration, I would like to present my Inaugural Address, courtesy of Atom.com:

My fellow Americans, today is a slow day. You have shown the world that “hope” is not just another word for “athlete”, and that “change” is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually play.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces quick and cheap challenges like never before. Our economy is disgusting. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for mothers. Our healthcare system is expensive. If your arm is sick and you don’t have insurance, you might as well call a Doctor. And America’s image overseas is tarnished like a thumb tack baseball bat. But running together we can right this ship, and set a course for New Orleans.

Finally, I must thank my blue family, my flat campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Jamaicans for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of speaking the American people. Without your beautiful efforts, none of this would have been possible.